Its too much. As someone who has big feelings I have learned to focus on the things I can control and my reaction to the things I can not. Compassion fatigue is real, it will make you sad, hopeless and empty. Making your circle smaller and focusing on the things that bring you joy and fulfillment can be enough. Its just too much! Your big heart and deep thoughts always brighten my day, you are not alone in your feelings, you have many allies. Xoxo
Yea its a well documented phenomenon in healthcare workers. Basically trying to help people, caring about their pain and suffering to the point of ambivalence or a total collapse of the human spirit! Fun, right?
I'm a grad student in education and hoping to become a teacher. I get the impression that I'll experience some of the same stuff once I'm in the classroom...so many students, more than people realize, experience struggles or chaos at home. We can be there for them and do some things to help, but a lot of what happens is out of our hands.
Phew. Thank you for writing what I (and many) are feeling. I think it’s only natural to reach a state of numbness after the alarm bells have been sounded constantly. In my research on the nervous system, the last vestige state is called “dorsal vagal shutdown.” It’s what happens when you’re in a state of overwhelm for too long. The body simply can’t hold it. I entered DVS when the pandemic started, and have come out of it now but am very very wary of consuming too much media or speaking about it using my platform, lest I wind up back where I began.
There’s also this rhetoric around those of us with any kind of “platform” HAVING to be activists / loudspeakers - and if we’re not, we’re on the “wrong side.” It’s exhausting. We need to find regulation - or else how will we be of any service to ourselves or those in our immediate communities? As you said it’s not about not caring. It’s about understanding that it’s endless, and we desperately need that pause + space. 💕
So much of your reflection on this perpetually anxious world resonates with me, especially as a history student and a Gen Z'er who has been surrounded by technology my whole life (and uhh...somebody who actually has anxiety :') Throughout my undergrad years, I learned time and time again about the myriad ways in which humans have wronged each other through our existence: wars, colonialism, apartheid, and more terrible things. And given the state of things in the world today, including a particular ongoing conflict I'm sure we all know about, sometimes I want to bang my head into the wall because it feels like we haven't learned ANYTHING. The worst parts of history seem to repeat themselves because a small number of greedy people in power will always push all semblance of morality aside to fill their pockets. There are many ways in which our societal structure is flawed and exacerbates these problems, and unfortunately it doesn't surprise me that this "constant state of alarm", as you phrase it, has made so many people numb and exhausted. Even as somebody who prides myself on being an activist, I'm only one person. There's only so much I can do by myself. I once told one of my teachers that I wish I was able to snap my fingers and make things right, but that's unfortunately not realistic.
We have to pause. In order to take care of and stand up for others, we must take care of ourselves too: one cannot pour from an empty cup. We need to sit with our feelings, reflect, and process, like you are doing here. And we need to express ourselves and find solace in the things that bring us joy, and the better side of human ability: art, music, community, and the ways in which we've made the world a better place. In a world that wants to divide us and profit from it, the strongest form of rebellion is connecting and embracing our shared humanity.
Are you familiar with the writings and activism of Eugene Debs, by any chance? He was a prominent anti-war activist and unionist, and his writings and speeches eloquently denounced the division and fear being stoked by the greedy people on top. He spoke out repeatedly against America's participation in World War I even when facing imprisonment. (History nerd stuff- hope you don't mind haha!)
Deep thoughts today. I always love the wisdom you share with us. Love, light, and hugs to you and Sarah and the doggos <3
I’m honestly deeply tired... and had a series of days recently where I was miserable about the world. Scrolling and seeing brutal images of war/tragedies, then a lighthearted tiktok, trivial celebrity news, then being advertised several useless products all in a span of 5 minutes. I don’t even really bother with the news, but that isn’t helping amongst the flickering lights of social media. All of our brains are ✨deep fried✨. In 10 years, psychology classes will have to be about 8 hours long each. It’s so exhausting to feel obligated to keep up with world events when being out of the loop is so much more uplifting. You almost feel guilt for not sharing infographics, or your own thoughts on certain issues/starting a revolution when we absolutely don’t have to for our overloaded minds sake. I have to remind myself that I’m not indebted to wake up every day with the weight of the world on me, and if I want to stay in my blissful bubble of peace, I can. If we can have a stillness anywhere, it’s better off being internal until the world catches up.
Where to begin? I should start by saying thank you for sharing your thoughts, Brandon. I agree that with everything happening around the world constantly bombarding you with the hum of your rectangular device of choice, it's harder to not grow cynical and feel like just sticking your head in the sand. But as you stated, that's not the solution. We all need, from time to time, a moment to step back and really analyze what is happening and how our participation in the endless chatter could help embolden the very same bad actors we speak out against. A moment of self reflection and observation will hopefully lead to cooler heads prevailing, at least that is my greatest hope. A wise man once wrote, "to obtain a bird's eye is to turn a blizzard to a breeze". I hope you and your loved ones are safe, healthy and enjoying the beautiful fall weather. I look forward to 2024 and whatever new perspective it might bring!! Take care!
I feel numb. I imagine that there's some alternate universe and somehow I landed in the shitty one. OR... what if this IS the good one? I've been hearing that we're in a universal shift from a masculine energy into a more feminine energy, and with most dramatic change, it's painful. Whatever this is, I pray it is not the "new norm" and that brighter days are in store for all of us. If I'm going to pick a mindset, I'm going to have to pick a positive one even in these dark days, numbness be damned.
Completely agree. It’s now more than ever that we need to localize our focus. Support the people you know and love and be there for them. Stop screaming into the internet abyss where no one wants to hear it or can easily tune you out. Humanity over all else.
We are so aligned on the same wave length in this thought, sometimes it feels as if I can actually feel a huge hand squeezing and causing more “crisis response “ . But have to subvert it best I can thank you so much for this post! ♥️♥️♥️💜💓💓💖💖💞💞💞💫💫💫
Damn you, turning away is my only form of self-protection, the only control I can gain in this mess! But, I witness unflinchingly the horrors my therapy clients have endured. So I must close the conduit sometime so as not to overflow. I love the challenge you present here, and wholly agree with the implications. Been waiting for your voice to arise!
Thank you for sharing these thoughts. I feel you! As a person who cares deeply, the constant state of crisis and disarming media content takes an emotional toll and adds weight. I simultaneously want to hole up away from it all and take action to help others. After working in media for a decade, I changed careers two years ago to work on embedding ethics in AI technologies and curb the digital spread of disinformation. There are things I’ve learned that are hard to know, but the only way forward I see is to take action, help broaden inclusion, accessibility & understanding, and try to create positive change.
I would agree, in order for some sort of change to happen, it would need to be on a mass scale. A walk out on social media, and media in general, for a sum of time... Perhaps a walk out on the rectangles completely. Stop the connection. The very thing we all so crave, is what “they”play on. Good for thought.
Its too much. As someone who has big feelings I have learned to focus on the things I can control and my reaction to the things I can not. Compassion fatigue is real, it will make you sad, hopeless and empty. Making your circle smaller and focusing on the things that bring you joy and fulfillment can be enough. Its just too much! Your big heart and deep thoughts always brighten my day, you are not alone in your feelings, you have many allies. Xoxo
I like the phrase "compassion fatigue" and will be using that from now on. I completely feel you!
Yea its a well documented phenomenon in healthcare workers. Basically trying to help people, caring about their pain and suffering to the point of ambivalence or a total collapse of the human spirit! Fun, right?
I'm a grad student in education and hoping to become a teacher. I get the impression that I'll experience some of the same stuff once I'm in the classroom...so many students, more than people realize, experience struggles or chaos at home. We can be there for them and do some things to help, but a lot of what happens is out of our hands.
Phew. Thank you for writing what I (and many) are feeling. I think it’s only natural to reach a state of numbness after the alarm bells have been sounded constantly. In my research on the nervous system, the last vestige state is called “dorsal vagal shutdown.” It’s what happens when you’re in a state of overwhelm for too long. The body simply can’t hold it. I entered DVS when the pandemic started, and have come out of it now but am very very wary of consuming too much media or speaking about it using my platform, lest I wind up back where I began.
There’s also this rhetoric around those of us with any kind of “platform” HAVING to be activists / loudspeakers - and if we’re not, we’re on the “wrong side.” It’s exhausting. We need to find regulation - or else how will we be of any service to ourselves or those in our immediate communities? As you said it’s not about not caring. It’s about understanding that it’s endless, and we desperately need that pause + space. 💕
So much of your reflection on this perpetually anxious world resonates with me, especially as a history student and a Gen Z'er who has been surrounded by technology my whole life (and uhh...somebody who actually has anxiety :') Throughout my undergrad years, I learned time and time again about the myriad ways in which humans have wronged each other through our existence: wars, colonialism, apartheid, and more terrible things. And given the state of things in the world today, including a particular ongoing conflict I'm sure we all know about, sometimes I want to bang my head into the wall because it feels like we haven't learned ANYTHING. The worst parts of history seem to repeat themselves because a small number of greedy people in power will always push all semblance of morality aside to fill their pockets. There are many ways in which our societal structure is flawed and exacerbates these problems, and unfortunately it doesn't surprise me that this "constant state of alarm", as you phrase it, has made so many people numb and exhausted. Even as somebody who prides myself on being an activist, I'm only one person. There's only so much I can do by myself. I once told one of my teachers that I wish I was able to snap my fingers and make things right, but that's unfortunately not realistic.
We have to pause. In order to take care of and stand up for others, we must take care of ourselves too: one cannot pour from an empty cup. We need to sit with our feelings, reflect, and process, like you are doing here. And we need to express ourselves and find solace in the things that bring us joy, and the better side of human ability: art, music, community, and the ways in which we've made the world a better place. In a world that wants to divide us and profit from it, the strongest form of rebellion is connecting and embracing our shared humanity.
Are you familiar with the writings and activism of Eugene Debs, by any chance? He was a prominent anti-war activist and unionist, and his writings and speeches eloquently denounced the division and fear being stoked by the greedy people on top. He spoke out repeatedly against America's participation in World War I even when facing imprisonment. (History nerd stuff- hope you don't mind haha!)
Deep thoughts today. I always love the wisdom you share with us. Love, light, and hugs to you and Sarah and the doggos <3
🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
I’m honestly deeply tired... and had a series of days recently where I was miserable about the world. Scrolling and seeing brutal images of war/tragedies, then a lighthearted tiktok, trivial celebrity news, then being advertised several useless products all in a span of 5 minutes. I don’t even really bother with the news, but that isn’t helping amongst the flickering lights of social media. All of our brains are ✨deep fried✨. In 10 years, psychology classes will have to be about 8 hours long each. It’s so exhausting to feel obligated to keep up with world events when being out of the loop is so much more uplifting. You almost feel guilt for not sharing infographics, or your own thoughts on certain issues/starting a revolution when we absolutely don’t have to for our overloaded minds sake. I have to remind myself that I’m not indebted to wake up every day with the weight of the world on me, and if I want to stay in my blissful bubble of peace, I can. If we can have a stillness anywhere, it’s better off being internal until the world catches up.
Where to begin? I should start by saying thank you for sharing your thoughts, Brandon. I agree that with everything happening around the world constantly bombarding you with the hum of your rectangular device of choice, it's harder to not grow cynical and feel like just sticking your head in the sand. But as you stated, that's not the solution. We all need, from time to time, a moment to step back and really analyze what is happening and how our participation in the endless chatter could help embolden the very same bad actors we speak out against. A moment of self reflection and observation will hopefully lead to cooler heads prevailing, at least that is my greatest hope. A wise man once wrote, "to obtain a bird's eye is to turn a blizzard to a breeze". I hope you and your loved ones are safe, healthy and enjoying the beautiful fall weather. I look forward to 2024 and whatever new perspective it might bring!! Take care!
I could go on and on and on and on and on....but I think I'll just stick with this two word reply: You're right.
Love you.
I feel numb. I imagine that there's some alternate universe and somehow I landed in the shitty one. OR... what if this IS the good one? I've been hearing that we're in a universal shift from a masculine energy into a more feminine energy, and with most dramatic change, it's painful. Whatever this is, I pray it is not the "new norm" and that brighter days are in store for all of us. If I'm going to pick a mindset, I'm going to have to pick a positive one even in these dark days, numbness be damned.
Completely agree. It’s now more than ever that we need to localize our focus. Support the people you know and love and be there for them. Stop screaming into the internet abyss where no one wants to hear it or can easily tune you out. Humanity over all else.
🥹 🙏🏼 Thank you for sharing, your words a salve for these heartbreaking times 💔
We are so aligned on the same wave length in this thought, sometimes it feels as if I can actually feel a huge hand squeezing and causing more “crisis response “ . But have to subvert it best I can thank you so much for this post! ♥️♥️♥️💜💓💓💖💖💞💞💞💫💫💫
Damn you, turning away is my only form of self-protection, the only control I can gain in this mess! But, I witness unflinchingly the horrors my therapy clients have endured. So I must close the conduit sometime so as not to overflow. I love the challenge you present here, and wholly agree with the implications. Been waiting for your voice to arise!
🖤
Thank you, Brandon. Your post speaks to exactly the same type of conundrum that looms large in my psyche. God bless you! 🙏🏻
Thank you for sharing these thoughts. I feel you! As a person who cares deeply, the constant state of crisis and disarming media content takes an emotional toll and adds weight. I simultaneously want to hole up away from it all and take action to help others. After working in media for a decade, I changed careers two years ago to work on embedding ethics in AI technologies and curb the digital spread of disinformation. There are things I’ve learned that are hard to know, but the only way forward I see is to take action, help broaden inclusion, accessibility & understanding, and try to create positive change.
💔
I would agree, in order for some sort of change to happen, it would need to be on a mass scale. A walk out on social media, and media in general, for a sum of time... Perhaps a walk out on the rectangles completely. Stop the connection. The very thing we all so crave, is what “they”play on. Good for thought.